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Here is a typical letter from a potential client with
the main points we always make in our reply


                Client's Letter........                              ........Our Reply

I have two extremely strong willed children, boy almost 6 and girl just turned 4.

I am finding it very difficult to deal with their behaviour at times. I have done the under 5s Positive Parenting course, and obtained and read through the books on Assertive Parenting and the book for 5-15 year olds (all by the Family Caring Trust).

I understanding the basis of poor behaviour (usually attention seeking) and have tried to spend some time with each child daily.

Nine months down the line we are still having problems and I am obviously doing something wrong.

Please help!!!

I have read your information and it seems to me that I need to keep a diary of the behaviour that is causing concern (it is not just one or two things!!) before I can go further.

Would be very grateful for your input.

Home Visits
U.K.   Ireland   and   E.U

Email BCC

We may well be able to help you.

Were we to take you and your son and daughter as clients our practice is to work with you until you are satisfied that the behaviour has changed in all the areas that are causing problems.

The work we do is very intensive and we charge a single fee that covers a day consultation (we visit you) and then phone consultation every day until you are confident that the problem is solved.

We have found that to be successful we have to work in this intensive way, as you have discovered for yourself, knowing what to do in theory, is often not very useful without careful "on the spot" monitoring.

We work with the responses that parents use to their children's behaviour and do not usually see the children in person.

We have a 100% success rate to date.

Because of the detailed work that we do you will see that it would not be possible to give one or two emails with advice.

Given what you say, it would probably be best if you and your partner (or any other adult who has contact with your children) obtain some ongoing training to help you to understand and use the principles fully.

The consultation day
After hearing the detail of the problems you are facing we set out for you our analysis of the reasons why your child is, at the moment, finding it hard to change. We explain, in detail, what you need to change, and why. We set out a clear list of strategies to follow when your child returns that evening.

Daily Support
If you feel you need the full intervention you ring every day thereafter, at a convenient time for you, (i.e. when you child is not around to overhear) and you continue to ring until you are satisfied that the behaviour is satisfactory and you understand the principles for maintaining it.

Our intervention (in this intensive form) lasts for 6 weeks and in this key time you have to be committed to phoning during each day.

Then you phone each week and only when you feel sure you are ready do you stop phoning.

From what you say in your email, I think you realise that although some of your responses may be based on sound theory, they still need to change if you want your children's behaviour to change.

We work until the problem is solved to your satisfaction and we do not charge any further fees regardless of the duration of the intervention.

You are also free to speak to us at any time after the intervention has ended if you want some "top up" advice, although the clarity of the training usually means that this is not required.

If you would like to find out more about becoming a client please phone on

0208 653 9768,

if not, I hope you are able to find the help that you need elsewhere.

Warwick Dyer
Behaviour Change Consultancy


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