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I have two extremely strong willed children, boy almost 6 and girl just
turned 4.
I am finding it very difficult to deal with their behaviour at
times. I have done the under 5s Positive Parenting course, and obtained and
read through the books on Assertive Parenting and the book for 5-15 year
olds (all by the Family Caring Trust).
I understanding the basis of poor
behaviour (usually attention seeking) and have tried to spend some time with
each child daily.
Nine months down the line we are still having problems
and I am obviously doing something wrong.
Please help!!!
I have read your
information and it seems to me that I need to keep a diary of the behaviour
that is causing concern (it is not just one or two things!!) before I can go
further.
Would be very grateful for your input.
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Home Visits
U.K. Ireland and E.U
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Email BCC
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We may well be able to help you.
Were we to take you and your son and
daughter as clients our practice is to work with you until you are satisfied
that
the behaviour has changed in all the areas that are causing problems.
The work we do is very intensive and we charge a
single fee that covers a day consultation (we visit you)
and then phone consultation every day until you are confident that the problem is
solved.
We have found that to be successful we have to work in this
intensive
way, as you have discovered for yourself, knowing what to do in
theory, is often not very useful
without careful "on the spot" monitoring.
We work with the responses that parents use to their children's behaviour
and do not usually see the children in person.
We have a 100% success
rate to date.
Because of the detailed work that we do you will see that it would not be possible to give one or two emails with
advice.
Given what you say, it would probably be best if you and your partner
(or any other adult who has contact with your children) obtain some ongoing training
to help you to understand and use the principles fully.
The consultation day
After hearing the detail of the problems you are facing we set out for you our analysis of
the reasons why your child is, at the moment, finding it hard to change. We explain, in detail,
what you need to change, and why. We set out a clear list of strategies to follow when your child returns
that evening.
Daily Support
If you feel you need the full intervention you ring every day thereafter, at a convenient time for you, (i.e. when you child is not around to overhear) and you continue to ring until you are satisfied that the behaviour is satisfactory
and you understand the principles for maintaining it.
Our intervention (in this intensive form) lasts for 6 weeks and in this key time you
have to be committed to phoning during each day.
Then you phone each week and only when you feel sure you are ready do you stop phoning.
From what you say in your email, I think you realise that although some of your responses
may be based on sound theory, they still need to change if you want your children's behaviour
to change.
We work until the problem is solved
to your satisfaction and we do not charge any further fees regardless of the
duration of the intervention.
You are also free to speak to us at any time
after the intervention has
ended if you want some "top up" advice, although the clarity of the training
usually
means that this is not required.
If you would like to find out more about becoming a client please phone on
0208 653 9768,
if not, I hope you are able to find the help that you need elsewhere.
Warwick Dyer
Behaviour Change Consultancy
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